FAMILY 13 - Jesus & his family - English Bible Study

‌FAMILY 13 – JESUS & HIS FAMILY

During Jesus' youth

Luk 2:19, 2:51 Mary pondering the prophecies about Jesus

“But Mary treasured all these words and pondered them in her heart.”

Mary is attentive and places importance on all that is said about her son Jesus.
She is looking for understanding and instruction from these words as to who he will be and as to her role in raising this child.

Luk 2:33-35 Simeon – a sword will pierce your own soul too

“And the child’s father and mother were amazed at what was being said about him. 34 Then Simeon blessed them and said to his mother Mary, “This child is destined for the falling and the rising of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be opposed 35 so that the inner thoughts of many will be revealed – and a sword will pierce your own soul too.”

Amazing prophecies are spoken of the importance, the cruciality of what this child will do. But cruciality includes acceptance as well as opposition.
The very nature of Jesus’ calling, the cutting aspect of his message means that there will also be those who oppose, which will have an effect on his family.
Calling of a person always has an effect on the family, some of the honor will fall on them, but also some of the opposition. They also pay a price, though not more than the person themselves.
Meaning of ‘a sword will pierce your own soul too’? Possibly a reference to that price paid by Mary and the family, when people will call Jesus ‘out of his mind’, when he is judged a deceiver of people by the spiritual leadership, the shame associated with him being executed as a criminal, the pain in watching his tortured and crucified.
Possibly a reference that the question of acceptance or opposition will come to Mary as well: all will have to respond to Jesus’ radical message, she is not exempt.
One cannot obey God fully without an effect on family. One cannot protect one’s family from all a calling means. But God promises that it is worth it and that it will bless the family in the long run.

Luk 2:42-51 Jesus as youth at the temple

“When the festival was ended and they started to return, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem. But his parents did not know it. 44 Assuming that he was in the group of travellers, they went a day’s journey. The they started to look for him among their relatives and friends. 45 When they did not find him, they returned to Jerusalem to search for him. 46 After three days they found him in the temple, sitting among the teachers … 48 When the parents saw him they were astonished, and his mother said to him, “Child, why have you treated us like this? Look, your father and I have been searching for you in great anxiety.” 49 He said to them, “Why were you searching for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?” 50 But they did not understand what he said to them. 51 Then he went down with them and came to Nazareth, and was obedient to them. His mother treasured all theses things in her heart.”

This story shows Joseph & Mary weren’t controlling, over-protective or over-worried about Jesus in general. They seem to trust him to take care of himself & behave appropriately. Only when they can’t find him a day’s journey into the travel, they get worried.
‘After three days’ means (half days possibly counted full) that Jesus now is missing a minimum of 4 full days. The priests or teachers must have fed him and accommodated him … does Jesus not once in 4 solid days think that his parents might be affected by his behavior?
Mary’s sentence shows her anxiety, care, relief, post-relief anger, hurt at his apparent carelessness with a clear accusing tone. We would agree with her. And: Who would want to be guilty of losing the ‘son of God’??
Jesus doesn’t seem to take the pressure, nor is he apologetic. His question “why were you searching for me?” seems on the brink of carelessness. And does he indeed fully expect his parents to know where he is? Or is he challenging their ‘worry’ where they should trust God?

Jesus is here acting on own initiative, own reasoning, thinks his behavior logic and expects his parents to know and understand. He also neither apologizes nor agrees with their worry, fear or over-concern. Strong sense of ‘security in God’ is revealed, that nothing that happens is outside God’s control.
Jesus ‘was obedient to them’, ‘submitted to them’ … Jesus, being 12 years old, still accepts their leadership, takes them as ‘authority from God’, but has own thinking already. Jesus – sinless – affirms and accepts God-given authority for his life at this point.

During Jesus' adulthood

Jhn 2:1-11 Mary calling for a miracle

“there was a wedding in Cana … 3 when the wine gave out, the mother of Jesus said to him, they have no wine.” 4 And Jesus said to her “Woman, what concern is that to you and to me? My hour has not yet come.” 5 His mother said to the servants, “Do whatever he tells you.” … 7 Jesus said to them, “Fill the jars with water”

Mary is concerned, maybe a relative’s wedding, maybe because she knows how shame feels, maybe a mother of Jesus highly aware of others.
Though John calls that ‘Jesus’ first sign’ (Jhn 2:10), she seems to have a positive expectancy of a miracle, and prepares practically by instructing the servants. Why? Did Jesus do miracles in the family setting before? If so, very limitedly, because Joseph dies early and Jesus works normally to feed the family. Or has she perceived that he is ‘on the brink of launching out’? And is wondering how it will first come?
Jesus’ answer ‘my hour has not yet come’ seems to address this direction in her thoughts. Later Jesus will say the same to his brothers ‘my time has not yet come’ (Jhn 7:6), though, when he is already in the middle of his ministry years, suggesting that this doesn’t refer to ‘first launching out’ but to obedience to the Father in general.
Jesus’ answer is also an example of boundaries: ‘What concern is that to you or to me?’ Jesus does not think every need is his to meet, every responsibility is his to take. Jesus being sinless this shows that also we can be godly, caring people and not take care of everything. We think: ‘he is able do something, therefore he should do something’. Jesus doesn’t sign up with this.
What seems like only a few minutes later Jesus does exactly what Mary suggested: He does pick up the concern, he provides for the need miraculously, his hour seems to have come, suddenly. How did that just happen? Assuming that Jesus wasn’t just ‘annoyed at his manipulative mother’ and that he is sinless and caring at all moments this can only be understood in the following way:
After Mary’s communication Jesus internally checks back with the Father: Should I address this? Is this the hour indeed? How should I do it? It seems the Father responds in the positive and Jesus goes ahead with his first miracle.
It is important though, that Jesus here doesn’t respond with an ‘automatic accommodation’ to even a caring and unselfish request of his mother. Only when he feels God the Father telling him, he goes ahead.
Need is no guidance. Ability is no guidance. Even caring and unselfish parental request is no guidance. Jesus is very clearly and carefully God-led and God-obedient. As an adult obedience to parents is no longer a ‘requirement of God’. A sinless Jesus refuses Mary’s request.

Jhn 2:12 Jesus in fellowship with his family

“After this he went down to Capernaum with his mother, his brothers, and his disciples and they remained there for a few days.”

After the Cana wedding event Jesus travels to Capernaum with family and disciples.
The reason for going is unclear, it could be a family related trip (as Cana probably was) or the family joining Jesus’ launching out in Capernaum.
The time line is not easy to reconstruct as other gospels have Jesus first call disciples in Capernaum, here the disciples are already with him on the way to Capernaum, so possibly a later event but his family still supporting him?

Mth 10:35-37, Luk 14:26 Jesus brings disunity to families

“35 For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; 36 and one’s foes will be members of one’s own household. 37 Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.”
“26 Whoever comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and even life itself, cannot be my disciple.”

Both Matthew and Luke have this verse in connection with uncompromising obedience to the call of God.
Both use litotes (over statements) to bring home the urgency and priority of this matter:
Matthew’s litote: ‘I have come to set a man against…’. Actually God doesn’t cause the hostility, but it is caused by family not understanding but rather opposing the calling of a family member.
Luke’s litote: ‘whoever … does not hate’. Actually God doesn’t command to hate, but he is clear that He has to have priority over parents if the two stand in opposition. Or priority over children if the two stand in opposition.
Mth 10:37 spells out the same thing not as a litote (understatement), but as a straight sentence: You must love, obey and give priority to God over family members, however dear and close.
Godly family members should support and encourage a person’s pursuit of God and obedience to calling, even at cost to themselves (distance, risk, financial loss).
If they do not, the person has to choose to disappoint family rather than disobey God. Family may misunderstand, feel disappointed, hurt, neglected or ignored, but that cannot be prevented. It is their problem and is not grounds to abandon God or calling.
One cannot please everybody. Sometimes to please family means to abandon calling. Don’t do it. Jesus didn’t do it.

Mrk 3:19-22 Jesus’ family trying to restrain him

“Then he went home; 20and the crowd came together again, so that they could not even eat. When his family heard it, they went out to restrain him, for people were saying, “He has gone out of his mind.” And the scribes who came down from Jerusalem said, “He has Beelzebul, and by the ruler of the demons he casts out demons.”

As Jesus ministry progresses, his acts draw both increasingly large, fascinated but also demanding crowds, pressing in on him (Mrk 3:10), barely letting him eat (Mrk 3:20), and ready to make him king (Jhn 6:15).
On the other hand, having become a name and a popular movement, Jesus is under increasing scrutiny by the spiritual leadership in Jerusalem.
Some also think Jesus is ‘out of his mind’ and report so to his family. These could well be relatives, friends or Capernaum neighbors. This also seems to indicate that none of Jesus’ immediate family are following him at this time.
His family, upon hearing the reports, is worried enough to feel obliged to act: they go out to restrain Jesus. They seem to be mostly motivated by care for Jesus, though there also seems to be a worry about the implications Jesus’ life might have on them and their reputation.
Their attempt to restrain Jesus would most likely be an urgent verbal request including an emotional appeal, especially by Mary, or possibly by the brothers on behalf of Mary.
Again there is no evidence of Jesus heeding this urgent request at all. He keeps obeying God even over concern, disagreement or opposition by his beloved family.

Mrk 3:31-35 (Mth 12:46-49) Jesus refusing his family’s demand

“Then his mother and his brothers came; and standing outside, they went to him and called him. 32 A crowd was sitting around him, and they said to him, “Your mother and your brothers and sisters are outside, asking for you.” 33 And he replied, “Who are my mother and my brothers?” 34 And looking at those who sat around him, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! 35 Whoever does the will of God is my brother and sister and mother.”

Mark and Matthew’s account put this event into the context of Jesus being judged by the scribes & Pharisees from Jerusalem and labelled as ‘demon possessed’. This – according to Jewish traditions (Fruchtenbaum) – is already a second stage: when confronted with a possible heretic the priests will first send out a fact finding delegation that asks questions and reports back. Based on that a second delegation is sent to address the heretic (here).
Jesus by now is getting opposition not to be ignored, probably another reason why his family feels they need to intervene this time.
This is the first time Jesus’ sisters also are mentioned, the entire family has come out to speak with him. Why the sisters? Maybe because as women they are most affected by their elder brother’s difficult reputation?
Note that the family’s behavior is not exactly polite nor respectful: They do not go in, they do not sit down, they do not listen to his teaching, they do not wait for him to finish. Rather they send someone in to call Jesus out.

Basically they demand access – and immediate access – on the grounds that they are his own family: Jesus should stop teaching, leave all the followers waiting and come out to attend to them … why? Because they are blood relatives.
The incidence is highly public, in everybody’s eye, and they don’t mind. By their behavior they (maybe unconsciously) try to impose a hierarchy on the people present.
Jesus refuses in an act that seems quite rude. The incidence is highly public – not by Jesus’ choice – and so he responds publicly: He will not meet their demand, he will not stop teaching, he will not prefer them over the other normal people on the grounds of family relations, he refuses their approach, hierarchy and the message that sends to others.
“Whoever does the will of God is my mother, brothers sisters” With this Jesus is levelling the ground. He is valuing the willing heart-response of the normal person over the claims of relations and position. There is only one way to God, and that is though a heart-response to grace offered: faith and obedience. His family is welcome, but if they come, this is how they will have to come.
Jesus’ family would definitely have been offended at this behavior, though they may have recovered and waited for him to finish things and met him later.
Though probably offended in the moment, Jesus’ family in the long run understands and accepts Jesus’ message to them: They are welcome, but not on grounds of special claims. Later when they become Jesus’ followers (Acts 1:14), they become followers like everybody else and no longer claim special access or favors any longer.
So: Mary is definitely saved, but not because she gave birth to Jesus, rather because she became a follower of Jesus. She eventually responds with humility, faith and obedience, – as all his followers do.
It is clear from this passages, that an and adult Jesus here disobeys his family’s urgent request, and more specifically his mother’s stated will. This shows two categories of limits to obedience of a child: Obedience as such is not required of an adult child. Obedience is not required if it is in opposition to God’s will.

Jhn 7:1-9 Jesus refusing his brothers’ advice

Now the Jewish festival of booths was near. 3 So his brothers said to him, “Leave here and go to Judea so that your disciples also may see the works you are doing; 4 for no one who wants to be widely known acts in secret. If you do these things, show yourself to the world.” 5 For not even his brothers believed in him. 6 Jesus said to them, “My time has not yet come, but your time is always here. 7 The world cannot hate you, but it hates me because I testify against it that its works are evil. 8 Go to the festival for my time has not yet fully come.” 9 After saying this he remained in Galilee. 10 But after his brothers had gone to the festival, then he also went, not publicly but as it were in secret.”

A new chapter in Jesus’ relations with his family: Basic support but trying to manage Jesus’ career.
There are parallels to Mary’s request at the Cana wedding: his family tells him to do ‘something’, Jesus refuses, declares his hour to not be here, then does it anyway. Both times it’s an agenda, basically well-meant, basically reasonable but not in this form of God.
Different is the motivation of the request: Mary’s concern was (presumably) over the shame of the couple, the brothers’ concern is helping Jesus to be famous.
John’s comment ‘for not even his brothers believed in him’ is interesting: Jesus’ brothers finally seem to have come to terms with their ‘special brother’ and in their way now try to ‘support’ him, but John still calls this unbelief, because – though acknowledging miraculous signs – they don’t rely on God but rather on human ways of accomplishing the goal.
Jesus again refuses a ‘well-meant’ instruction from his family. He clearly distances himself from their goals and their ways and refuses their ‘management’.

Jhn 19:25-27 Jesus covering for family responsibilities

“Meanwhile, standing near the cross of Jesus were his mother, and his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. 26 When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing beside her, he said to his mother, “Woman, here is our son.” 27 Then he said to the disciple, “Here is your mother.” And from that hour the disciple took her into his own home.”

Jesus – as a godly son – is trying ensuring that his mother is taken care of after his death. As far as he can he tries to cover for his responsibilities, though his early death and departure is part of his calling that he can’t and won’t prevent.
Jesus has four younger brothers, why does he feel he needs to give responsibility for his mother to his disciple John? Maybe because the brothers are not yet his followers at this time, though before long they will be.
Fellow believers become family (Mrk 10:30, Luk 18:30) and can be asked to take care of family responsibilities. This models that ‘taking care of each other’. Jesus has no hesitation here to ask for a service, a commitment.
Within the boundaries of God’s calling and God’s principles one needs to do one’s best to fulfill responsibilities to family: “And whoever does not provide for relatives, and especially for family members, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever” (1 Tim 5:8).

Jesus' family in later years

Acts 1:14 Mary and Jesus’ brothers among the disciples

After Jesus’ death and resurrection Jesus’ family become his followers – and on the same terms as everybody else: faith and obedience, not on being a blood relatives.
Presumably Jesus’ physical mother and brothers were treated with honor in the first church, but immediate special status or other grounds for higher position are not visible in the NT writings.
Jesus’ brother James (the oldest of the four mentioned in Mth 13:55, Mrk 6:3) becomes over time (after Peter) a revered and influential leader of the Jerusalem church.
His adherence to the Jewish law makes him first an influence in favor of circumcision (Gal 2:12, Acts 15:1).
When the issue is properly addressed in the Jerusalem council (Acts 15) it is James who after much discussion comes out with the concluding verdict of not requiring Gentile believers to keep the Jewish law: “Therefore I have reached the decision that we should …” (Acts 15:19).
Why him? Possibly because of his prominence in the Jerusalem church, but even more so because he seems to have been the main figure of the pro-circumcision position, so his change of mind signals to all the now apparent rightness of what Paul and Barnabas have stood for (Gal 2:11-14, Acts 15:1-2).
James, brother of Jesus, is the writer of the epistle ‘James’ a He identifies himself as ‘James, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ’ (Jam 1:1) and doesn’t come out with his being Jesus’ brother.
The descriptions remaining in other Jewish writings describe James as living a life of exceptional devotion & prayer and that he was revered even by Jews that opposed the church. Josephus Flavius describes his martyr’s death at the hands of the Jews.
The last brother of Jesus mentioned in Mth 13:55 and Mrk 6:3 is Judas (or Juda or Jude), the writer of the epistle ‘Jude’, who humbly identifies himself as ‘brother of James’, not ‘brother of Jesus’ (Jude 1). Both brothers have truly learned their lesson.

FAMILY 13 – Jesus & his family