FAMILY 09 – Husband & Wife

FAMILY 09 – HUSBAND & WIFE

OLD TESTAMENT

Genesis 1-3 Foundations from Genesis > monogamy established
  • Gen 1:26-27    man & woman created by God and in the image of God
  • Gen 1:28      man & woman given authority, blessing and mandate to rule the world. No authority is given over each other, rather to rule together.
  • Gen 2:16-17    man & woman given same command, instruction, warning
  • Gen 2:20-22    man & woman are appropriate for each other, of the same kind
  • Gen 2:24        man & woman choose each other freely. Marriage doesn’t need parents ‘giving in marriage’. The authority marriage comes from the two marrying. Together they are the authority of the new family. The new family is given authority & priority over old family. Monogamy established
  • Gen 2:25        man & woman at peace and freedom, open to each other, unguarded
  • Gen 3:7-13     only with sin comes shame, covering, hiding, blaming, selfishness
  • Gen 3:16       only with sin comes comparison, competition, strife, superiority-inferiority, ruling one another. Rulership of the husband as a command of God? > goes against Gen 1-2. Rather, rulership of the husband is a description of reality in a sinful world.
Genesis 12-50 Abraham's family > freewill marriages
  • Gen 11:30       though Sarah is barren, Abraham doesn’t take 2nd wife till 87 years old
  • Gen 16:4         Abraham listens to Sarah about taking Hagar, though this is not of God
  • Gen 17:5, 15   Covenant, promise of a child, name change for both Abraham & Sarah
  • Gen 17:19     God refuses to let his promise come through a second marriage, he is committed to the original monogamous marriage. He will not allow Sarah to be sidelined.
  • Gen 24:8, 58  Rebekah has choice to accept or refuse the proposed marriage to Isaac
  • Gen 24:65-67, 26:8    Isaac and Rebekah have a love relationship
  • Gen 25:21       Isaac prays to God for barren Rebekah, rather than taking 2nd wife
  • Gen 29:17-20  Jacob loves Rachel, serves willingly for her. He is cheated against his will into a polygamy, contrary to the later Law of Moses (Lev 18:18).
Women and their relationships in the Old Testament
  • Mic 6:4, Exo 15:20-21   Moses’ sister Miriam is leading Israel together with Aaron and Moses. She is a prophet, leading Israel in praise after Red Sea parting
  • Num 27:1-11      Daughter’s of Zelophehad, demanding inheritance, granted it by God
  • Num 36:1-13      Fear for loss of land by female heirs. God commands & they obey.
  • Num 36:6           “Let them marry whom they think best” affirmation of choice of spouse
  • Jdg 4-5, 4:4-6    Deborah, married, prophetess, judge at Ramah, has word of the Lord, summons & supports Barak of Naphtali, inspires Israelite troops, predicts future accurately, called ‘a mother in Israel’, ‘arose’ like deliverer-judges, song writer teaching the nation & future generations
  • 1 Sam 1              Hannah asking for, discipling and releasing a leader for Israel: Samuel
  • 1 Sam 19:11-17  Michal rightly judging situation > warning David and managing escape
  • 2 Sam 11:4         Bathsheba’s not appealing and not resisting is a factor in David’s fall
  • 2 Sam 14:1-20   Joab engages a wise woman of Tekoa who affirms but also challenges David
  • 1 Kin 10, 2 Chr 9  Queen of Sheba, hearing, inquiring, traveling, giving, receiving … initiative, pro-active, risk-taking, thinking, asking hard questions, willing to learn … affirmed by God for her pursuit (Mth 12:42, Luk 11:31)
  • 1 Kin 14:1-4       Jeroboam’s wife traveling with sick son to Shiloh to inquire of prophet
  • 1 Kin 16:31, 18:19, 19:1-2, 5-16, 2 Kin 8:18, 9:30  Jezebel, evil, idolatrous, influential, introducing Sidonian Baal and Asherah cult, providing for and giving pro- minence to idolatrous priests, threatening Elijah, abusing court system to kill Naboth and obtain garden, seductive, bring up her daughter Athaliah in her ways.
  • 2 Kin 8:16-18, 11:1-3   Ahaz and Jezebel’s daughter Athaliah, evil, idolatrous, influential, usurping power, killing David’s family, even own grand-children
  • 2 Kin 22:14        Prophetess Huldah, married, consulted by Josiah, gives God’s word
  • Neh 6:14            Noadiah, false prophetess at the time of Nehemiah, causing fear
Wisdom literature
  • Psa 128:3            Description of blessing = “Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your children like olive shoots around your table.” Metaphor of ‘vine’ for wife? > green, fruitful, fresh, growing, well being … probably also intoxicating aspect included.
  • Prv 5-7                 Warning of adultery: deceptive, not fulfilling, not lasting, not worth it
  • Prv 5:15-19 “Drink water from your own cistern, flowing water from your own well. Should your springs be scattered abroad, streams of water in the streets? Let them be for yourself alone, and not for sharing with strangers. Let your fountain blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. May her breasts satisfy you at all times, may you be intoxicated always be her love”
  • A powerful, not at all prudish counter-picture to adultery: a fulfilling marital friendship & sexual relations. This celebrates the beauty and rightness of an exclusive, committed monogamy, friendship, companionship and unity.
  • Song of Solomon, exactly as above. Some added components:
  • Tension: exclusive, committed marital love (monogamy) <=> harem life (polygamy)
  • Continual mutual invitations to each other, initiative by both, all free-will responses
  • importance of romance, time spent, friendship, communication for sexual relations
  • SoS 8:6-7           “Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm, for love is strong as death, passion fierce as the grave. Its flashes are flashes of fire, a raging flame.” Call for commitment & exclusivity. Metaphor of death, grave: death gives nobody back > once such deep commitments have been made, there is no going back. “Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it” Power and tenacity of love. “If one offered for love all the wealth of one’s house, it would be utterly scorned” Love is a free-will gift and voluntary, not to be bought or sold.
  • Ecc 9:9                 “Enjoy life with the wife whom you love, all the days of your vain life”
  • Ecc 7:26-28           Solomon’s disillusioned polygamy-affected view of women as traps
Prv 31:10-31 capable, praiseworthy woman

“A capable wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. 11The heart of her husband trusts in her, and she will have no lack of gain. 12 She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. 13 She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands. 14 She is like the ships of the merchant, she brings her food from far away. 15 She rises while it is still night and provides food for her household and tasks for her servant-girls. 16 She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard. 17 She girds herself with strength, and makes her arms strong. 18 She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. her lamp does not go out at night. 19 She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle. 20 She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy. 21 She is not afraid when it snows, for all her household are clothed in crimson. 22 She makes herself coverings; her clothing is fine linen and purple. 23 Her husband is known in the city gates, taking his seat among the elders of the land. 24 She makes linen garments and sells them; she supplies the merchant with sashes. 25 Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. 26 She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. 27 She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the break of idleness. 28 Her children rise up and call her happy, her husband too, and he praises her: 29 “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.” 30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. 31 Give her a share in the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the city gates.

  • This is a OT description of a God-fearing, praiseworthy woman: She is by no means a weak, dependent, self-effacing, submissive, clinging wife.
  • Rather she is strong, confident, wise. She knows her value and her power. She fulfills her role, which includes foresight, diligence, productivity, initiative, innovation, risk, public interaction, legal transactions, self-management and leadership. She works, shares, gives, manages, employs, enjoys.
  • This is a lot more powerful than most bloodless ‘Christian’ ideals of the submissive wife, who waits for the husband and is being pretty.
  • Her husband trusts in her (Prv 31:11), has a high view of all women (Prv 31:29) and especially of his wife and praises her. He gains honor, dignity & trustworthiness in the eyes of others because of her.
Mal 2:13-16 God hates divorce, faithlessness, breaking of covenant
  • God convicts them: they are religious, but don’t live godly lives: Negligence, unfaithfulness & injustice towards their wives is unacceptable.
  • God reminds them of the covenant they swore, the marital life they had.
  • A wife is meant to be the ‘companion’ of her husband. Companionship implies friendship, major time spent together, sharing of life, involvement in each other’s choices.
  • A link is made between marital faithfulness & godly children: Children having seen their parents quarrels, possibly abuse or divorce are emotionally affected for life > insecurity, inferiority, fear, lack of self-confidence, mistrust, no faith in conflict resolution. Choices of the child matter, but the starting point is much more difficult.
  • Divorce is described as ‘faithlessness’, ‘breach of covenant’, even as ‘violence’: To rip a part the unity God gave (Gen 2:24, Mth 19:6, Mrk 10:9) is violence and cannot be done without major damage to each.
  • Spirituality or religiosity – or its absence– is precisely how I treat those next to me.
  • “The wife of your youth”, when the woman was younger, maybe prettier. God protects women, ageing women also, women who have often given up career & other options to look after children & household. God defends women. God hates women to be taken advantage of, lied to, broken faith with, neglected, devalued or cast aside. Often they are the more vulnerable partner, the more dependent partner, whom God demands protected.
  • God hates divorce, for what it means & does, for the tremendous and often life-long hurt & damage it inflicts, for Himself being so grossly misrepresented. God does not hate the divorcee, he hates no one, especially not wronged and vulnerable people.
  • “God hates divorce” is used to pressure abused spouses to not leave a marriage, but God here rebukes the marriage vow breaker, the one in the process of causing a divorce with his or her behavior. The law of Moses allows divorce on several grounds: unfaithfulness, material neglect and emotional neglect (including abuse).
  • God stands witness to our words, oaths, covenants and holds us accountable. Do not swear falsely (Lev 19:12). Our word needs to be trustworthy like God’s, our promises need to stand, our ‘yes’ needs to have weight.

NEW TESTAMENT

Eph 5:21-33 Husband - wife relationship

“Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ. 22 Wives, be subject to your husbands as is fitting in the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife just as Christ is the head of the church, the body of which he is the Savior. 24 Just as the church is subject to Christ, so also wives ought to be, in everything, to their husbands.25 Husband, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 in order to make her holy by cleaning her with the washing of water by the word, 27 so as to present the church to himself in splendor, without a spot or wrinkle of anything of the kind- yes, so that she may be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way, husbands should love their wives as they do their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hates his own body but nourished and tenderly cares for it. Just as Christ does for the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and the two will become one flesh.’ 32 This is a great mystery, and I am applying it to Christ and the church. 33 Each of you, however should love his wife as himself, and a wife should respect her husband.”

Col 3:18-19 husband – wife relationship

“Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives and never treat them harshly.”

  • The whole passage (Eph 5:21-6:4) is one long sentence in Greek, with no verbs (except in side sentences), all hanging by ellipsis on the first sentence Eph 5:21: “Submit to one another … also wives to husbands … also children to parents … also slaves to masters”. This is the basic structure of the sentence.
  • The three pairs of submissions are different, but for all pairs and both sides of each pair there is a command to submit, respect and give value.
  • With all three pairs both sides are addressed concerning their attitude.
  • The main principle: mutual submission, mutual well-wishing, mutual preferring.
  • Submission by its very nature is a free-will choice between equals. To sub-mit means to ‘put oneself under’, which implies one wasn’t ‘under’ the other to begin with. The relationship between unequals is subservience, not submission.
  • The prime model for both submission and respect (the command to wives) and love (the command to husbands) is Jesus, who submitted to the will of God completely and loved supremely.
    • How did Jesus submit & respect? … with principle, purpose, speaking highly, discussion & appeal (Gethsemane), submitting never to human agenda or unrighteousness.
    • How did Jesus love? … by caring, serving, building up, encouraging, revealing his heart, selflessness, laying down his life.
  • If a husband loves as Christ loves (or as per 1 Co 13) it is much easier to submit.
  • Does the wife still submit if she is not loved like that? Yes, but it’s harder.
  • Our concept of submission: husband can force the wife. But: love doesn’t force (‘love does not insist on its own way’ 1 Co 13:5). Also Col 3:19 spells this out: ‘never treat them harshly’. No joy at dominion, no spite, no demanding, no demeaning, no force, no violence.
  • Mutual submission and wives submitting to husbands has – as always – limits: not to the point of denying God (De 13:6), nor immoral acts, nor tolerating immoral acts, nor criminal behavior.
  • Ep 5:28-29 To love one’s wife means to love oneself. A husband only hurts himself if he doesn’t love or place value on his wife or family.
  • Other writings on family duties of that time give all rights to men and all duties to women, especially in Greek culture.
  • But Paul places obligations and rights squarely on both sides. Paul commands wives (3 ½ verses) and husbands (8 ½ verses). Paul puts down a supremely high standard for men: Jesus’ love for the church.
  • Husbands can’t demand submission, but they must love. Wives can’t demand love, but they must respect. This list is not a list of ‘legitimate demands’ but a list of ‘essential obligations’. The focus is never: what can I get? But: what must I do? You are not free to quote Ep 5 to your spouse and disregard the commands to you.
  • Example of uneven application: A woman told by a priest that her husband’s repeated adultery was her fault and she needed to go back and submit.
  • What does God want? Strong marriages, mutual support and love, peace, stable families, free individuals.
  • What was going on that Paul had to remind the women to be submissive? Probably the newly freed, included, valued and empowered Christian women were being bit overbearing. It was new to men to worship with women, to see women taught, active in worship, speaking prophecies (See: ‘Why not women?’ by D.J. Hamilton)
  • Why is there an almost universal superiority or preference of men? Men have more physical strength, women have periods of weakness with pregnancy, birth, child care … there are matriarchal cultures, though fewer.
  • There is nothing on family structure in the 10 commandments. There is nothing about husbands having authority in the law.
  • This is a command to mutual submission and to a wife to submit to her husband. It is not a command to all women to submit to all men at all times.
1 Peter 3:1-7 a quiet and gentle spirit

“Wives, in the same way, accept the authority of your husbands, so that, even if some of them do not obey the word, they may be won over without a word by their wives’ conduct, 2 When they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Do not adorn yourselves outwardly by braiding your hair, and by wearing gold ornaments or fine clothing; 4 rather, let your adornment be the inner self with a lasting beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in God’s sight. 5 It was in this way long ago that the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves by accepting the authority or their husbands. 6 Thus Sarah obeyed Abraham and called him lord. You have become her daughters as long as you do what is good and never let fears alarm you. 7 Husbands, in the same way, show consideration for your wives in your life together, paying honor to the woman as the weaker sex, 8 since they too are also heirs of the gracious gift of life – so that nothing may hinder your prayers.”

  • Submission is commanded even to an unbelieving husband. This submission has – as always – limits: submission not to the point of denying God, immoral acts, not preventing immoral acts or criminal behavior.
  • Stay within family structure, be constructive, use your given role … being subject, accepting legitimate authority, not unlike being a citizen of a nation.
  • Gentle and quiet spirit: Not declaring extroverted or boisterous women sinful, but a woman at peace with herself and with her situation. Gentle and quite spirit is in contrast to fretting, nagging, demanding, discontent, manipulating or controlling.
  • Paul affirming godly attitude and character over external beauty and wealth. Freedom for women not to have to conform to or be measured by a competitive, wordly, changing, outward standard. A woman should not be judged by something she has so limited power over anyway.
  • Others: do not judge women that way! Women: do not accept this type of pressure!
1 Cor 7:1-11 monogamy, optional marriage, no desertion

“Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “I(t is well for a man not to touch a woman.” 2 But because of cases of sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. 3 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another except perhaps by agreement for a set time, to devote yourselves to prayer, and then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 This I say by way of concession, not of command. 7 I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has a particular gift from God, one having one kind and another a different kind.
To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is well for them to remain unmarried as I am. 9 But if they are not practising self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to be aflame with passion.
10 To the married I give this command – not I but the Lord-that the wife should not separate from her husband. 11 (but if she does separate, let her remain unmarried of else be reconciled to her husband”, and that the husband should not divorce his wife.

  • Due to rampant immorality in Corinth some think sex (or more directly: women) the problem. Therefore their slogan in 1 Cor 7:1. Paul doesn’t agree with them: women are not the problem, neither are sexual relations in marriage.
  • 1 Cor 7:2 is one of the basic scriptures for monogamy in the New Testament.
  • 1 Cor 7:3-7 Paul spells out – completely parallel – rights and responsibilities of both husband and wife, which is revolutionary to Greek society where the household codes gave all freedoms to husbands and all duties to the wife.
  • Abstinence in marriage – if both want to & agree – is okay, but only a limited time.
  • 1 Cor 7:7-8 Not marrying is a viable option for both genders, in contrast to Jewish understanding of childlessness as sin. But also: marriage is good.
  • 1 Cor 7:10-11 Do not cause a divorce. If you had a quick Graeco-Roman (‘separation = divorce’), try to go back and reconcile.
  • For more details see FAM 03 ‘Divorce & Remarriage’
1 Cor 7:12-16 Remain in the marriage you are

“To the rest I say – I and not the Lord – that if any believer has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. 13 And if any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is made holy though his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy through her husband. Otherwise, your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. 15 But if they unbelieving partner separates, let it be so; in such a case the brother or sister is not bound. It is to peace that God has called you. 16 Wife, for all you know, you might save your husband. Husband, for all you know, you might save your wife.”

  • This is the case of those who converted to Christ but their spouse didn’t.
  • Again: do not cause a divorce. If the unbelieving spouse agrees, remain married. The Corinthian believers seem to have had a tendency for the extreme … Paul says essentially: ‘remain, don’t do anything crazy or unnecessary.’
  • Paul said that in sexual relations both body and spirit are on. That raises the questions: If I have sexual relations with my (still) idolatrous husband, am I contaminated? Affected? Unclean? Injured in any way? Paul says: no.
  • Paul expresses hope that by good testimony the unbelieving spouse will believe.
  • This is not a condoning of believers marrying unbelievers.
1 Cor 7:17-24 Remain in the condition you were called

“However that may be, let each of you lead a life that the Lord has assigned, to which God called you. This is my rule in all the churches. 18 Was anyone at the time of his call already circumcised? Let him not seek to remove the marks of circumcision. Was anyone at the time of his call uncircumcised? Let him not seek circumcision. 19 Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing; but obeying the commandments of God is everything. 20 Let each of your remain in the condition in which you were called.
21 Were you a slave when called? Do not be concerned about it. Even if you can gain your freedom, make use of your present condition now more than ever. (avail yourself of the opportunity). 22 For whoever was called in the Lord as a slave is a freed person belonging to the Lord, just as whoever was free when called is a slave of Christ. 23 You were bought with a price; do not become slaves of human masters. 24 In whatever condition you were called, brothers and sisters, there remain with God.”

  • Paul gives great freedom, whatever you are, wherever you were, it’s okay.
  • No whining or blaming of circumstances. Use well where you are, what you are, what you have. Circumstances are never the problem, though our attitude within these circumstances may.
  • Church history: The way the gospel came to the Roman upper class families was by believing slaves. Example: Martyr Perpetua heard the gospel from her slave.
1 Cor 7:25-35 Marriage is optional, singleness is commended

“Now concerning virgins, I have no command of the Lord, but I give my opinion as one who be the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. 26 I think that, in view of the impending crisis, it is well for you to remain as you are. 27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife. 28 But if you marry, you do not sin, and if a virgin marries, she does not sin. Yet those who marry will experience distress in this life, and I would spare you that. 29 I mean, brothers and sisters, the appointed time has grown short; from now on, let even those who have wives be as though they had none, 30 and those who mourn as though they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they had no possessions, 31 and those who deal with the worlds as though they had no dealing with it. For the present form of this world is passing away.
32 I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the affairs of the Lord, how to please the Lord; 33 but the married man is anxious about the affairs of the world, how to please his wife, 34 and his interests are divided. And the unmarried woman and the virgin are anxious about the affairs of the Lord, so that they may be holy in body and spirit; but the married woman is anxious about the affairs of the world, how to please her husband. 35 I say this for your own benefit, not to put any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and unhindered devotion to the Lord”

  • Again men and women exactly the same. Again freedom of choice is affirmed.
  • 1 Cor 7: 26 present distress … 29 the appointed time has grown short … 31 this world is passing away … Paul has a sense of urgency. Why? Possibly he is thinking Jesus’ 2nd coming imminent? Actually there were repeated famines in the area in 40-60 AD.
1 Cor 7:36-40 Freedom to choose

“If anyone thinks that he is not behaving properly towards his fiancée, if his passions are strong, and so it has to be, let him marry as he wishes; it is no sin. Let them marry. 37 But if someone stands firm in his resolve, being under no necessity but having his own desire under control, and has determined in his own mind to keep her as his fiancée (virgin), he will do well. 38 So then, he who marries his fiancée does well; and he who refrains from marriage will do better.
39 A wife is bound as long as her husband lives. But if the husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wished, only in the Lord. 40 But in my judgement she is more blessed if she remains as she is. And I think that I too have the Spirit of God.”

  • Widows have the right to remarry, but they don’t have to. This is a departure from Jewish consensus and the obligation in the Law of Moses about Levirate marriage for childless widows.
  • Paul seems to speak of sexual passions as often or for many ‘uncontrollable’, therefore they need to be ‘channelled’ right. Maybe a reason for this is the completely sexualized city of Corinth with rampant prostitution (‘sin city’).
  • Landa: until we marry for the right reasons, we will not have stable marriages.
  • 1 Cor 7:39 Paul affirms a person’s free choice as to whom to marry. Only one condition: a believer should marry a believer.
In contrast: The View of Women & Marriage in the Greek Thinking
  • Greek mythology describes a original state, when there were only men, no women, and all men lived in peace and bliss.
  • When Prometheus steals fire from the gods, they decide to punish him by creating a woman: Pandora. Pandora is Prometheus’ doom, she is irresistible but destructive, the sweet poison he can’t resist but that will kill him.
  • Greek mythology claims that men descended from the gods, but women are created from 10 groups of animals. Only one of the ten groups of animals was considered to ‘produce’ good women, the bees.
  • In Greek culture women spend most of their lives in Greek homes, in separated ‘women’s quarters’. Greek women were considered praiseworthy if they were invisible, inaudible and self-effacing.
  • Heroines of Greek mythology were chess pieces, prizes fought over but not acting on their own (Example: Battle of Troy over a woman called Helen, Achilles’ concubine Briseis becomes the reason for conflict between him and Agamemnon). Greek mythology as themes of women forced into grotesque relationships like marrying the murderer of their former husband.
In contrast: The View of Women & Marriage in the Roman Thinking
  • Roman view of women and marriage was even lower. Since the Roman main gods were Mars (the god of power, war, conquest) and Venus (goddess of erotic love, seduction, prostitutes), sexual license was common.
  • Romans had a very low view of marriage, adultery by the husband was very common, many held ‘a wife for children and mistresses for fun’.
  • Julius Caesar was known to be ‘every wife’s husband and every husband’s wife’.
  • Even children weren’t thought of as very important. Infanticide was common, especially for girls, usually by abandoning the child by the side of a river. Even the mythological founding fathers of Rome (Romulus & Remus) were abandoned sons.
In contrast: The View of Women & Marriage in some cultures
  • Metaphor of the owner (husband) and the garden (wife) is used. An owner can have several gardens, but a garden only has one owner.
  • Also expressed by this picture is the expectation of fruitfulness. If a garden doesn’t bear fruit, it can be discarded or left. Childlessness is often thought of as ‘her fault’.
FAMILY